


Perfect

by SuzuyaJuuzou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Gen, Panic Attacks, Verbal Abuse, incomplete work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-28 00:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2711732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzuyaJuuzou/pseuds/SuzuyaJuuzou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Perfect” couldn't be farther from Oikawa Tooru even if it tried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect

If you were in Aoba Johsai, you’d know who Oikawa Tooru is. It wouldn't matter if you were a freshman, or if you hardly came to school. Oikawa Tooru, dubbed “Grand King of the Court”, is a prodigy. Not only outstanding in Volleyball, he excels in his studies, getting the highest scores without ever seeming to study. Even between all of these, he still manages to find time for his friends and extra curriculum activities.

When you hear his name, the first thing that would cross your mind would ‘Perfect’. The flawless setter of Aoba Johsai; not only is he popular with both men and women, but he is also well-mannered and kind; whom despite a childish behavior, is known for being serious during his games. ‘Perfect’ would be a good word to describe Oikawa Tooru; the man who has the skill to make full use of his team mates and the ability to find his opponent's weaknesses.

But “Perfect” couldn't be farther from Oikawa Tooru even if it tried.

Since Tooru was born, his parents had his life planned out for him. They were first time parents, and were told to not worry so much. Their own parents had taught them the ropes and they read online and offline for advice. In the end, they decided they’d do what they thought were best.

Tooru had a happy childhood, like any other kid. His parents paid him all the attention he needed and more. Being an only child, he couldn't be happier. Amusement parks, the circus, you name it, they took him there. They wanted to spend as much time with their child before he flew from the nest, even if that wouldn't be for another 15-16 years. They wanted the best for their child and this was what they thought was best.

This all ended, however, when Oikawa Tooru came home from elementary school one day. Clutching a test paper in one hand, Tooru opened the house door with a weak push. He had always done moderately well in his tests, which made his parents happy, but his recent lack of enthusiasm towards studying landed him a zero on his now crumpled paper.  
He thought he could just leave it out on the kitchen table and avoid whatever talk his parents were going to give him, but he caught sight of his mother on the couch with her head in her hands, back moving up and down in quick, shuddering breaths. He edged towards the sofa, never once having seen either of his parents cry, test forgotten in his hand. Placing a hand on her knee, he asks her what’s wrong. His mother, who was always gentle to him, who tucked him in bed with a sweet smile and a kiss to the forehead, wishing him happy dreams and a good night’s sleep, raised her head slowly, tears flow down her cheeks, staining her clothes as they dropped from her chin.  
Her eyes hardened as they set upon an identical, smaller pair, looking up to her. “You…” was all she said before she slapped him across the room, fast and hard. “This is all your fault!” Tooru raised his head slowly from where it had hit the ground, tears gathering up in his eyes. He’s not sure what his mother is saying, but it couldn't be good. He’s confused, scared and worried; anxious feelings were swirling in his now tight chest and making his heart drop. He makes an attempt to talk, to ask what’s wrong, but the slap he got was too hard and it’s making him dizzy. The noise of his mother shouting isn't helping it either. 

Suddenly it’s quiet, and his mother seems to be looking at what’s in his hand, before moving down and snatching it away. He recalls his test paper, wonders if his mom will realize he’s had a rough day and say she’s sorry for hitting him. He’ll make her tea and tuck her in, like she does when he’s sick, he thinks; only after she helps him stand though.  
But his mother doesn't help him up, as he expected, instead she starts screaming and hitting him even more that he’s starting to see black spots in his vision and whatever colours he can see are swimming and blurring together.  
When he’s older, more used to it, and less confused, he thinks if he had to make a guess at what she said, it would go something like, “Why did you do this to me?”, “Why did I give birth to you?”, “Why can’t you do anything good?”, but he’d rather not guess, or remember it for that matter.

That day, when he regained consciousness, hears his parents hushed whispers, and goes to see if his mother is alright, he realized that life wouldn't be the same for him anymore. Not with the way his parents looked at him like he was some sort of unwanted parasite they had no choice but to live with.

A couple weeks later, Tooru is taking a walk by a nearby pond. He would've walked past it if he hadn't glanced at it. A glance became a double take, and Tooru was abashed at his appearance. His situation at home apparently caught up with his appearance. His hair was disheveled and the bruise on his check was fading but still apparent. He gained several more injuries but he’d rather not dwell on it. Moving to sit by the pond, Tooru began to fix his appearance, using the pond water (which was fortunately clean) to fix his hair and wipe his face. 

In the midst of cleaning his arms, a voice behind him speaks up, “You’re contaminating the pond, idiot.”

Surprised, he falls into the thankfully not deep pond, and looks towards the source of the voice; a slightly taller boy who couldn't be any older than him stood in front of him, sun glaring behind him as if he were an angel with a heavenly glow. The boy has a mess of spikes for hair and a band aid over his nose, he’s also holding onto a fishing net—No wait, he’s stretching the fishing net towards him. “Are you gonna get out or are you planning to be eaten by the fishes?” That immediately sets Tooru into action and he clambers onto the edge, fishing net helping him up.  
The boy introduces himself as Iwaizume Hajime while laughing, before he looks at Tooru properly and his facial expression changes to one with worry. Tooru thinks maybe it’s because he’s dripping wet and that was probably the most embarrassing moment of his life then, but Iwaizume just stares and asks if he’s okay. Tooru looks at Iwaizume, confused, before realizing that his shirt crawled up his skin when he was in the process of getting up, exposing some of his bruises. Quickly, he pushes his shirt down, mutters he’s okay before plastering on a fake smile, first of many to come, tells “Iwa-chan” he’ll see him later, though he doesn't think he will, and ignores the concerned shouts of that follow him as he runs off to somewhere that’s not home.

A couple of days later, Iwaizume Hajime turns out to be a transfer student in his class. Tooru fidgets in his seat, since the new student was told to sit in front of him, but Iwaizume doesn't do anything except for nodding to him in acknowledgement before sitting. It’s not until recess that he talks to him.

When Iwaizume asks about the big bruise on his rib, Tooru remarks that he just fell some stairs, which makes the other boy look at him before telling him to cut the crap. It takes nearly half of recess, Iwaizume threatening to kick Tooru’s ass (before grimacing at how the boy flinched, and apologizing), and promises to tell no one for him to tell the truth. Then it takes the rest of recess for Tooru to stop Iwaizume from telling someone with desperate looks and loud whispers and pleads, many of which was “You promised you wouldn’t tell!”

In the end, Iwaizume sighs, and tells him they’ll talk later just as the bell rings. Tooru doesn't say anything, still anxious that Iwaizume might go back on his promise, but they have different classes now so all he can do is hope and try to trust him. 

After school, Iwaizume takes Tooru to the pond where they first met, and asks – demands, really – Tooru to tell him the whole story, since during recess all that Tooru said was that his dad was the one to give him the bruise. Tooru is hesitant however, and wonders if it would be a good idea to tell someone he sort of just met, a practical stranger, everything. In the end, he decides not to; he puts on his fake smile for the second time and tells Iwaizume it’s just a one-time thing, nothing to worry about. He expects Iwaizume to shout at him, like at recess, but he doesn’t. Instead he nods while frowning and asks if Tooru’s sure, and it irks Tooru a little. He doesn't know why it does, but it just does, and he doesn't want to deal with it, or Iwaizume, so he widens his smile and says ‘of course I am!’ like he hasn't a care in the world. 

It’s the first time he lies, Tooru would later realize, but for now he leaves, fake smile and all – gone the moment he rounds the corner and he’s sure Iwaizume can’t see him. 

_If there was a beginning to any of this, he thinks this would be the moment._  
If it wasn't for Iwaizume, he probably wouldn't be like this…  
He probably wouldn't be here, he thinks. 

Life continues on after that.

He gets into volleyball some time later, which Iwaizume thinks will be over just as fast because the same thing happened with dancing (Tooru isn't as elegant and graceful as people tend to think; in his defense, he states that his shoes were worn out, though Iwaizume knows better and calls bullshit), basketball (Tooru isn't tall enough and Iwaizume makes fun of him for that), and bowling (both Tooru and Iwaizume agreed it was boring). 

Tooru insists, however, that volleyball is going to work and he tells Iwaizume to watch, because he will definitely make it work and, as a joke, says he’ll even aim to be part of the national team. He doesn't mention to Iwaizume that he actually _needs_ to make it work because life at home is getting worse and he’s itching for a distraction.  
He says to himself that he would have but they never talked about it since that day at the pond and he really doesn't want to bring it up, either.  
He thinks to himself that it doesn't matter anyway since he can handle it, but he knows that that’s just a lie he wants to believe. 

Interestingly enough, volley ball does work as a distraction. Even more interesting though is that he somehow got Iwaizume into it as well, though he thinks it’s more to do with the fact that the land that the small pond Iwaizume visits to fish at is about to be constructed on into some building of some sort that Tooru couldn't care about. All in all, it just means he has a volleyball partner that he can train with and he’s pretty content about it.

But of course, everything has its ups and downs, and obviously in return for a newly discovered hobby and a good friend to do said hobby with (though he’s still not sure he can call Iwaizume a friend yet), things at home had to go worse.

Since graduation was coming up, Tooru’s parents were being even harder on him. Sure they no longer coddled or helped him with his work after that day – and he’s still not sure what made them change – but to make him spend every minute studying and scream or hit him when he was just taking a 10 minutes break after a couple hours’ worth of revision was going too far even for them!

Even though he does his best to get good grades, while keeping up with his hobbies and self-made training regimen, nothing seems to satisfy them – no, nothing he does seems to make them happy anymore. It’s odd, he thinks, that as a toddler all he needed to do was smile or laugh and his parents would follow along, but now, as a pre-teen, getting the highest score in all of his level doesn't even gain him a _glance_ from them.

It’s on one of the days that he has to walk home alone because Iwaizume's stuck on roster duty, that he asks himself why he even bothers with his parents. It’s been 4 years since that day and all he’s been doing is trying anything and everything to set things right, but nothing’s worked. It makes him wonder why he even bothers – why he should bother. Maybe they've been trying to tell him that they no longer want him as a son – well they already have so that’s probably not it. He doesn't know, he doesn't know if he wants to know, and it’s at this moment as he reaches the front of his house, that he stops walking and realizes that he has no idea about anything.

He doesn't know who he wants to be, what kind of person he wants to grow up to be, hell, he doesn't even know who he is at this point. 

All he’s been doing for the past four years is sucking up to his parents, trying to make them love him, trying to get them care; he hasn't even been thinking about other people around him, not his classmates, not his teacher, not even Iwaizume.

Clenching his fists and biting his bottom lip, he realizes he’s been shaking and standing outside of his home like a weirdo, a stranger – and that makes him laugh inside, because he really is one. This house he’s looking at, this house he’s been calling home for the past 12 years of his life is anything but _his_ home. It was home once, he thinks resolutely, but not anymore – not since four years ago. 

He feels slightly dizzy suddenly, and realizes how hot he feels like as if his body was on fire. An adrenaline rush was coursing through out his body from his previous thoughts and it’s making him feel like running somewhere, anywhere, just not here. It makes him feel sour because _what can he do? Where can he go?_ He’s just some 12 year old kid, no one’s going to listen to him; well the police would but he doesn't want or need the drama that would follow suit, he needs a silent and efficient – guaranteed to work – way out.

He thinks of Iwaizume briefly before shaking his head. No way was he going to let him know. He doesn't know what he thinks of Iwaizume or what Iwaizume thinks of _him_ , but he just knows it’s not time, he’s not ready for that yet – whatever ‘that’ is.

He’s not ready for anything, he thinks – no, realizes. 

Graduation’s coming up, and in a couple of months he’ll be going to junior high, and then high school, and what next? ‘Find a job, settle down, have a family and die a peaceful, meaningless death?’ he thinks rancorously.

No, no, no, he doesn't want that; the idea of being in a relationship has never crossed his mind once and right now it tastes bitter in his mouth. He wants to do something big with his life, he doesn't know what but he just knows he doesn't want to live a boring life of normality. 

There’s so much he wants to do, even if he doesn't know what, so much he hasn't done, and right now he thinks and feels that he’ll explode with the amount of not knowing he has bottled up; He doesn't know where to start, how to start, and it’s making his stomach twist. 

He can’t tell if the blurriness in his vision are from how light headed and dizzy he feels or the tears that are welling up in his eyes, and it hits him that he’s crying which he hasn’t done since that day; Nostalgia joins in and he has to swallow to keep the bile from coming up his throat, grimacing afterwards at the acidic taste in his mouth.

His palms are sweaty and his hands have been clenching and unclenching; He thinks he spots someone out of the corner of his eye and it makes him shake even more, makes the dizziness worse because he realizes he’s been standing out here for too long and he’s starting to look suspicious.

The world’s feeling too big suddenly, and he just feels too tiny, _too small_ ; it’s truly horrible that at this moment he recalls the fact that the universe is continuously expanding and it makes him wonder if anyone would care if he was gone because he’s just one person, one kid, among millions, billions, and he’s just so pressured from all of this that he just falls limp to the ground, vision going even fuzzier if possible, and black spots appearing; all which faintly remind him of that day and make him wish that the ground will open up and swallow him whole so he wouldn't have to deal with any of it.

 

He awakes with a gasp, and a feeling of panic.

It takes more than a few shuddering breaths for the panic to subside enough for him to recognize that he’s in his room. How did he get here?

A bombard of memories hit him a few seconds later and he’s left shivering and trying to take calm breaths. 

Either the person he spotted out of his vision helped him, that is if they were real, or his parents or neighbors spotted him and helped him inside. He prays it’s the former because if it was his parents, God knows what they would say.

**Author's Note:**

> Oikawa is such an interesting character uvu  
> I give up on writing this, as fun as it is. I might finish this one day but idk :")
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to my friends for helping me beta a bit of it laugh


End file.
